I'm fairly certain...

... the amount of cows saved, plus the amount of flatulence inducing foods eaten by me since becoming vegetarian, results in  way more methane gas eating up the atmosphere than before...

Cloud Atlas concept drawing by George Hall
(The fabricant slaughterhouse / recycling plant scene that erased my desire to eat flesh.)

And now I fart. A lot.

In case you were wondering

I could probably count how many times I've thought to myself:  "dang self, I love winter" on the unicorn or narwhal like bony protrusion on my forehead. 

Zero times.

This was on the inside of our rental cabin window at -30ish

Dear every single lip balm i've ever owned:

Where were you when I needed you?

some thoughts lately

I haven't written in forever. But I have been thinking and doing a lot! Here are a few things that have nothing to do with each other:

1.
I started running a few weeks ago using the Runner's World 8 Week Beginner Program recommended by my best friend. She is on the last legs of the program and I am super impressed with her. I am having some trouble finding my groove, but her success is spurning me forward. I did the first few weeks without a jogging stroller (Bigfoot came with me pushing the regular stroller and I would run off ahead of him when the running intervals started and then walk back to him. He was really supportive, even when I whined on the first day of week 2 when "those bastards doubled the running and halved my walking!" I bought a chariot (used) and am super stoked with it but am getting used to running with it for week 3. Also, the deeper I get into the program the more ground I cover which means I've ventured out past our 1.5km driveway and down along the highway on a quad trail frequented by linx and etc so I feel a bit bearanoid and bring the bear spray. The dog comes along and I noticed the baby watches him running beside her. Fun for all.

2.
Why are people selling baby clothes on kijiji? I mean come on! First off, I don't think any mother should spend a cent on baby clothes when it is so readily available in the form of hand-me-downs and gifts from relatives. A friend of mine on facebook linked to a listing on kijiji where the lady was selling a bunch of 0-3 month sleepers for $25 with this lengthy diatribe on how "you NEED these sleepers because you are not going to have time to do laundry and blah blah blah." Most people thought this was funny but it just angered me. In my opinion, baby clothes should be used as a currency of goodwill between mothers. Sure, sell the outgrown crib or stroller on kijiji, but don't use it as your own personal ongoing garage sale for every little item you can possibly think of. And don't tell impressionable new moms that they NEED something just because you want to make a few bucks. I looked into the kijiji thing some more and there are people listing stuff like shirts and pants and some for as low as $1. Come on people. Give that shit away. Create some good karma. Having a baby does not automatically turn your life into a business! On the other hand, I am lucky I was given so much baby stuff for free. Maybe others are not so lucky? I plan to change that for as many new mothers as possible as I will be handing down all of my used baby items (and I'm pretty sure Joon's stuff could populate the wardrobes of about 10 babies).

3.
I'm copying the number bullet post thing from a new blog I've been reading and enjoying. Sorry Caitlin who doesn't know me and who lives far away in a land where there are dangerous sharp objects known as cacti everywhere. Um I'm also not sure if the link highlighty thing works or if it is proper etiquette to just randomly link someone's blog in a random post. Sorry, again. Am I being cliche Canadian for saying that? Sorry. oh frig. The reason why I mention another blog is that I am wondering if reading other blogs is kinda stultifying my own blogging voice and maybe i shouldn't be reading as many as i am? I'm not talking about the blog I just mentioned, that one I love, but some of the others on my reader do not apply to me or they just make me want to vom and i just hastily followed them for no good reason except that they were there.

4. 
Non-conformity. Is there really such a thing? Does it not disqualify itself simply by existing? The internet has connected so many niche communities and ideas that people who used to feel badass for being so unique no longer feel special anymore. Wah. When subversion becomes the norm it eats its own tail. The internet did this. Not sure if it is a bad thing. Maybe society needs the kick in the ass to let them know they aren't special and if they want to be special in this internet age they better start doing something amazing like curing cancer or something else we can't even fathom...

5.
House-sitting at a place that has a hot tub soon. Holla!

trying not to be a BIATCH!

Squanch is gone to the north for work and I am alone. I am also broke which is handy because I need to eat our house dry of all the random shit in the fridge and pantry and freezer before our sub-letters take over and rub their juices all over our stuff for four months. GWOSS!

Tonight's dinner.. egg noodrah pasta with tomato paste reconstituted with a few splashes from a bottle of red wine that was left open for a few days. and a greek salad sans feta, which is surprisingly tastier than it sounds. I threw some chic peas into both for substance. Oh and a coors light left from when my parents were here helping me with taxes last weekend.

Ok, I know i'm trying to be positive here but I have to say, I spent a few hours in the computer lab at school getting caught up on print outs and assignments and summer job searching and every five minutes some obnoxious twat would walk by dragging her feet effing loudly across the floor. Of course she was wearing Uggs. They pretty much demand that you walk around like a slob when you are wearing them. They are the stupidest, ugliest ,pieces of shit footwear I have ever seen and you look stupid and ugly in them because they the second you walk in them they are dirty.

Also, I do my tests in the test center (special room for students with "accommodations") I do it because i need quiet or else i loose my shit and don't know my name let alone the answer to a complex radiography problem. Well anyway this ogre comes in to write also and he starts drumming on the desk with his hands. He wouldn't stop. Last time i checked this wasn't a workshop for percussionists you illegitimate child between a hobbit and an ewoke! I told the lady at the counter i was moving because a percussionist was sitting beside me and the aspergers girl from my class snickered.

Speaking of aspergers girl.. I made friends with her the other day (sorta) and I was thinking to myself as I drove home "I made friends with the weird girl" and then it occurred to me that she could be telling herself the exact same thing. But yeah, honestly she is one of the only people I care to interact with from my school.

wasted hatred

I over heard someone say "me likey" today. I spun around to see who was spouting such obsolete verbal regurgitation and then had to pretend to laugh at how funny and charming she was because she noticed me noticing her and it was either that or smacking her in the annoying ass ironic glasses clad face.

Pretty sure it was a Simpson's reference and pretty sure the only people who quote the Simpsons are trying way too hard to be cool.

Pretty sure people who quote anything in day to day dialogue are trying way to hard to be cool. Like that chic that Squanch's best friend brought over here the other weekend who was pretending to be the starving artist meanwhile daddy pays for an internship because she doesn't have to work. sorry, no amount of strategically nonchalant boho scarves will be able to cover your fucking prada purse and fur hat you poser biatch.

So anyway, she kept engaging in conversation with the guys about world politics and bla bla bla and not once did she look at me and then she would pluck some reference out of her ass and so and so scholar said this about that and I am brilliant and then look at squanch like she wanted some kind of reassurence that he thought she was smart and the whole time I was just knowing that he was thinking she was a pompous twat same as what i was thinking.

there was this feminist feeling i got from her but instead of being happy to be a strong intelligent woman she was trying to prove herself to have a dick and that it was bigger than squanchs dick, which is impossible if you ask me.

She actually bragged to the cashier at the grocery store that Squanch's friend was a poet.. haha I bet she has all kinds of fantasies about how she is slumming with a ginger, woodsy, philosopher poet. too bad he will be writing poems in spooge on the walls of the tents of whatever girls take his fancy at planting this season.

woah rant.

so much angers me these days.I know it's a waste of time but i need it out of my head so i can get on with everything else

salty mcnulty

wanted to shake you and scream that the high level of functioning you exhibit, despite the brick wall of debauchery around you makes me grieve everything extraordinary you are not accomplishing. and i don't even know you. i'm going to change your name to Doolots and beat the irishness out of you one of these days.

Zen and the Art of too many bitches

Being in a program with 150 other chicks is infuriating on a daily basis for so many different reasons. The passive-aggressive, nonchalant alpha female, panties in a wad, I know everything and I am not getting my way wah wah wahing has to stop or I am going to go insane.

There is a reason I went into the veterinary field and it's not my love of people.

Yoga is the only thing keeping me from flipping out on these twats.

Ohm muthafucker Ohm