dear unnamed college,

please accept more males into the veterinary technician program. the bitches are going to drive me insane and a few more guys thrown into the mix would probably shut them up a bit. i don't care if they are gay or straight, as long as they do not have a vagina.

ginger i once knew

the red hair and the tattoos and the spacers in the ears.. freckles as frequent as the word fuck and who'd have known you hadn't been behind that bar in Calgary all your life, born behind the bar, squirted out from between some drunken woman's legs into a pint glass.....

GWOSCH

i'm studying so you're studying

pots and pots of tea.. but not so much that you need to pee all the time.. (only every 30 mins :)and not caffeinated after 6pm because you need your sleep. peppermint is great as it stimulates the memory and calms those tummy jitters. yes I just said tummy.

highlighters and multicolored page darts and pens and pencils and cue cards and whatever superfluous stationary supplies you feel you need to feel adequately armed to attack dense material such as the veterinary hematological exam.

ambient music without words, or music with words that you do not already know the words too, and especially not music from a band containing (a) member(s) you have slept with.\

rules like no internets, phone, and other distractions for the 25 to 30 minute blitzes you will be studying.

5 min breaks with snacks, more tea, peeing and such... you will be suprised how much you will crave returning to your material!!!

repeat this often. write as you study..do not just read.. keep a positive attitude..
use a scented oil while you study adn also while you write the test to bring back the memories.. or chew the same flaour of gum to bring you back to the mindset of your studying:)

sunshine!

squanch-a-medic

squanch is getting tired of not being able to find a job down here in the cityish place. he knows up north there are lots of jobs for squanches like him. he may move to far north and work as a medic there. the plan is in motion. i will go to be with him when school is done for the summer. exciting.

treeplanting journal

The dust from the logging roads coats my teeth, whiter now if only for the grimy tan of my face. Squished up with duffel bags and his long legs, there is silence and there is sunshine. It’s calm in this truck limbo, and I’ve been starved for calm.

The dandelions have burst forth overnight from the prairie floor. I’m planning a painting in my mind, how I’ll use an old toothbrush to splatter the yellow in atop the green grass, fluorescent in the lazy afternoon sunshine. The sky is bigger here than any sky I have ever seen. I can’t fathom a canvas big enough for the abundance of clouds, languid they lay about like corpulent Romans following a feast.

Beside me he shifts his hands on the steering wheel and I notice him noticing a bird flicking in the wind, its energy bursts through the stillness of the afternoon, but the fluidity of flight remains true to my tranquility. We do not speak.

(GP May 2009 planting journal excerpt)



meredith by the fire

At night, the sky smudged a gradient of cobalt to ash, she sits by the fire and makes an attempt at the moment. It’s all she can do. Zen falls like the crumbs from the cake of others and she’s there to catch a few in her swollen hands, savoring seconds of peace.

She’s pegged the restlessness of her mind to the vastness of her country, the never-ending possibilities of people and place; the hearts she’s broken and the hearts that have broken her and all the hearts lined up like bottles on a fence waiting for someone to pull the trigger.

Every pair of eyes she’s ever seen stay with her, become a constant presence, watching, judging, laughing. Here in the wilderness, the layers of herself have been peeled away and her soul cowers and spins, dances and winces, a grub in the sun. And she’s not sure if this means she’s lost or if it means she’s found.

(May 2009)


waiting things

Cigarettes smoke themselves
in anticipation
collars darken like the day
and still, still
boot darkened socks
wait on the floor
damp and alone.
Branches accumulate
and the open space
becomes tired and dirty
strewn with waiting things
patient like the earth
beneath fingernails
calm as the filth
in hidden crevices.

hangin on with a thread sister

Bad Kelly and I smoked some rez darts in her car before Radiography study group and all we did was talk about how stressed we are right now and how this is the last chance for us to do something with our lives and how freaking hard it is to keep up with the workload even when all you do is school work. failure is not an option haha but something else is...

I dropped an f-bomb in my med lab the other day right as i was handing in a botched assignment, right in the teachers ear. She said I was the last person she would expect it from. I guess I blew my cover, like I forgot to shower and the stink of this nasty mouthed dart hacking, squat pissing, tree-planter came out. oops. sometimes I forget that i kinda look civilized and refined in the real world.

there are many ways you can acquire the status of pissing me off, read:
You are fat and disgusting
you talk too much too loud about asinine things (that's what blogs are for, get one)
you are arrogant
you wear retarded t-shirts that say things like "this is what awesome looks like"
you are a teenager
you drive a rental bmw suv
you wear tights as pants and really shouldn't
you still live with your parents and think life is oh so hard
you go on facebook and play games during lecture

ok this is a lot of negativity all at once, I know, I am working on it... just had to get it out of my system

basement

The carpet in the basement was yellow-green and it was thread bare in the most unusual places which meant it had been somewhere else entirely before it came to lay on this concrete floor. Same with me. I was just glad to be somewhere under a roof and not tossed out to the curb.

jonny braill

Fiction Alert!

one winter i was blind and it didn't matter because you played guitar and sang and had a bed with furry sheets and the kind of stomach you don't need eyes to appreciate.

---
(oh gawd i have so many random little bits like this in my brain. so many imaginary boys swimming like so many lost sperm in my head. i'd be a writer except it would probably only be boy crazy teeny hoppers who would read my stuff. not a bad market i hear... i could just make them all vampires or wizards or the next best thing ... which i will keep to myself because it is too lucrative an idea to give away.

overwhelm

oh my god school is effing hard.

i can barely keep track of one course let alone all a bazillion of them

Radiography - wow. so this is why we needed to know physics. oops.

Parasitology - the eggs are fun to look at through the microscope. the worms themselves are going to make me barf something fierce one day. giant kidney worm. ya. NOTHANKYOU. I'm going to think i have everysingle one of these nasties before the year is over... just you wait until i get more blog savvy and learn how to post the lovily torture-masked-as-education videos we have to sit through without fainting.

Pharmacology - fuck fuck fuck this shit is complicated.


Math for Veterinary Technicians - easy, in theory, but the lectures are so BORING.. powerpoints for math.. come on.. what ever happened to chalk lady.. i sit there feeling so bad for the teacher because we all turn into waste-cases and secretive little digital texting daemon beep beep fbfbfbfbfbfbfbfb twits. fml. there are times i just get up and leave or else i will have a nervous breakdown

Clinical Care of Animals - This is a rather simple and fun course except that it involves shifts of feeding and caring for the lovily animals super early in the morning and if you miss or are late more than once you can pretty much say goodbye to your education and/or life. enter the anxiety i feel the night before a shift which fucks me up for the rest of the week and turns me into an amoeba/starfish/never putting out again exhaustion chalice wearing a-sexual sac of sleep.

Thank god for spending $40,000+ on a BA because now i don't have to take general ed courses which would sink this fucking ship.

Love the weekend job at the horse farm, but man, all this shit is close to too much.

for some reason a school bus
and hand me down dogs
and jeans torn at the knees

Jess is right. If you mashed the two of us together, gave us a guitar, some tits and an awesome voice, you would have LISSIE! (bottle of tequila optional)

looking for the perfect man?

do what i did:

step 1: go treeplanting under the guise of making money and finding yourself and becomming one with the natureness of canada.

step 2: find a samsquanch

step 3: shave said samsquanch

volia!

Goodmorning (I've missed my make believe people)

When Lily slips out in the early morning she finds Arden elbow deep in the engine of his truck. He's got smudges of black car blood mingling with the tattoo on his arm, creating a whole new design. He scoops her up into an embrace, her feet dangling off the ground sway and she can smell the engine oil and him, completely enclosed, unable to move, not wanting to. She listens to his whispers and could stay there in this floating limbo of embrace forever.