salty mcnulty

wanted to shake you and scream that the high level of functioning you exhibit, despite the brick wall of debauchery around you makes me grieve everything extraordinary you are not accomplishing. and i don't even know you. i'm going to change your name to Doolots and beat the irishness out of you one of these days.

oops

"I hate convention."

( There is a book on my shelf about how hating convention has become conventional. )

bigfoot impress

Mansquanch had a big interview yesterday and came home buzzing and excited and full of knowing that he impressed them.


I am proud of my dashing paramedic.

Zen and the Art of too many bitches

Being in a program with 150 other chicks is infuriating on a daily basis for so many different reasons. The passive-aggressive, nonchalant alpha female, panties in a wad, I know everything and I am not getting my way wah wah wahing has to stop or I am going to go insane.

There is a reason I went into the veterinary field and it's not my love of people.

Yoga is the only thing keeping me from flipping out on these twats.

Ohm muthafucker Ohm

flood

So the other morning when I woke up to the sound of water and thought it was the rain outside my bedroom window, well, it wasn't the rain. It was a burst pipe in the apartment below us where the rodentia couple live. They have been on their little rodentia vacation for about a week now and while they were gone their little rodentia world got a bit wet.

We alerted our landlord when we noticed our water pressure had become super low. My Manquanch had a shower and it was just drip drip... Type A landlord brushed it off as probably the city and the construction But later that day Squanch discovered a river of ice flowing from one of the rodentia's window sills and called the landlord who freaked and came up from the city to check it out. All I could hear from up stairs when he finally arrived was "OH SHIT. Oh man-o-man o-man." I was just waiting for the F-bombs and they eventually came but only after I thought the poor man was going to burst into tears as he dialed every plumber he knew and kept getting no response. Rodentia have no idea life as they know it has changed and are off in rodentia lala land. I hope they have renters insurance, but who ever does?

my equestrian dog

The dog came with me to the barn today. Two amazing parts of my life colliding and it worked out wonderfully. Welli got to run around like a maniac and meet all kinds of creatures and people, and I got the satisfaction of being able to bring my dog to work with me. He was hilariously afraid of the horses at first, and I was worried he would be an idiot like that one time he chased one of the therapeutic riding academy horses through an electric fence when I was helping with the lessons. Good thing all the riders had gone home by then or I would have been in SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!
But yeah, it worked out so well having the little fella with me I think I will bring him every weekend now. He's going to be an equestrian before I know it!

conflict-free ziptie

Got the news from my pseudo-hippie University roommate that she is engaged. She tells me her fiance made sure to ask for her if the diamonds were Canadian and conflict free. I guess everyone has to sleep at night somehow and if this is what works for them then, sure.

I don't have to worry about blood diamonds because my engagement ring is a ziptie. And, Yeah, the thing cops use to mass-cuff the cuttoff wearing "bystanders" at the g-15 whatever this summer.

Ziptie. At a planting camp these little buggers are indispensable. Especially when the supervisor, (my fiance) becomes so enamored by the cook (me) that he decides to lock down her and her meal-making abilities for good. I was eating water-mellon on my cook shack porch waiting for muffins to rise when he came back to camp to get something and that's when it happened...

Enough about me. So, I went to tell the news to my other best friend from university but i dawdled because she is not yet engaged and has been with her boyfriend since forever. And yeah, I admit, if i wasn't engaged I would probably, deep down, be pissed to hear this news just as i am secretly ticked when i find out people are pregnant ("accidental" pregnancy really pisses me off especially as i do not believe it is possible but more on this later) so I'm still talking about me. So, yeah, I probably just ruined my other friends day... but the news had to come to her somehow. Sorry blondie...

melt mothafucka melt

It sounds like wet outside this morning and it is tricking me into believing it is spring. I'm not excited in the way that I usually am for spring, hyped up to get the fuck out of the city and into the bush for 4 months of alternate reality- planting trees and being dirty and surrounded by 50 alcoholic pot-head peter-pan forever-life crisisers.

no, we are not going treeplanting. we have escaped the cult. (my decade in the bush treeplanter partner and i who have collectively placed in the ground 1, 000, 000 lucky little saplings)

He is so close to finally getting a job (paramedic) and I am so happy being surrounded by animals all day and planting is just a blip on our life radar, a fun story to tell people as to how we met (he was my supervisor and i spent an entire summer pine-ing over him...bahaha)

Plus, I think this winter we have planted more than trees, but of course i always think that (but this month my breasts have been swollen for weeks) (i should take a photo, apparently people are into boobs).

I'm excited for spring because it means I won't be cold all the time, instead i will be wraped up in the warm cozy duvet of life instead of in bed shivering on a Tuesday morning. Lakes and beaches and sunshine and horseback riding without snot-cicles. canoe. canoe. canoe. and wild berries and daisies.

MELT mothafucka MELT