listen

My goal for today is to listen. I get so riled up with human interaction because I am alone so often (by choice and destiny) that I talk and talk and talk. Today I am going to listen.

file it under G y'all

I won't bore you today with more self adulation on becoming a morning person. It was difficult today and I am far from as productive as I would like to be, anyway. So here is some advice on getting your living space under control.

My day job is as a house cleaner and i have a few insights on keeping up a house as I see about 15 houses in a given month all at varying stages of chaos.

One thing I notice is CLUTTER. 

Holy eff people, you are keeping way to much shit that is crowding out your life. Deep down, I think we have been brainwashed to think that throwing things out is bad. Whatever the reason: recycling propaganda (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), depression era cellular memories passed down through the generations, etc. Either way we are afraid to throw shit out. And when I mean throw out, I don't necessarily mean capital G garbage, but also capital G goodbye: recycling, composting, donating all apply. 

Of course desperate times call for desperate measures and the easiest way to get a bit of zen going in your house is to sit down and watch a couple episode of a hoarders type show then go through your house with a big black garbage bag. Put everything in this bag, even stuff that can be composted or recycled. if you have the time, separate it, if you don't, throw it in the trash bin outside and forget about it, that crap already existed in the world and it can either be sitting cluttering up your home or sitting with its friends in the landfill. 

Things to throw out:

• dead plants (deserve to cross over)
• food that's bad or you won't eat (your fridge is a goldmine for garbage!)
• broken items (you ain't never gonna fit it)
• worn out items (socks with holes, anything you can't donate honourably)
• wire hangers (get wood... i will elaborate on clothing purging and storage in a later post)
• papers! (o my hell the papers. i will also devote a post to this)
• expired everything (makeup, food...go back to your fridge and i guarantee there will be an expired salad dressing. i once found 5 in my da's fridge)
• failed attempts at crafting or art (i'm looking at you other bloggers)

Liberate yourselves from the crap! Once life is a bit less cluttered you can worry about getting back to your ideal, earth friendly self. But for now, be relentless. If it ain't adding value to your life, toss it. "File it under G" for Garbage aka GOODBYE!

hello

Third day in a row, yo!

old photo of jon's from the cabin at north fork

I've switched up my wake up time from 5am to 4:30am because I want more time to write. I'm greedy like that. Things are good, still following the routine of the first day. I've found it hard to get out of bed all my life, unless I'm excited about something huge like an airplane ride or an extra special occasion, so it is high time I started to look at my writing as something this important. And it's hard to get out of bed for me no matter what time it is so why not wake up early? 

What I've noticed is I can enjoy being cozy in bed at night much more now because I'm not anxious about letting the opportunity to write slip by. Knowing I've dedicated some time to my own creative work in the morning gives me a sense of accomplishment and eases my mind. Energy is gained because I'm not wasting it feeling bad about myself. 

  

i write mornings

I'm up again. The sleep cycle app "SleepBot" seems to work well, supposed to wake me up gently. And then the fear of the loud alarm I've set across the room going off and waking up Juni gets me out of bed. Then I stand there groggy like a stunned cunt. (Jon's vocabulary has infiltrated my brain). Then I go downstairs and splash cold water on my face and it helps a lot. Then it is tea time. I make a pot for myself and set up at the desk with the whole pot, milk, honey and a particular cup I'm fond of. I'm wrapped in a blanket and just about as cozy as I can be.

Today I've doddled a bit checking email and quickly facebook and now blogging. I find if I check social media at night before I go to bed, it's the same feed in the morning so it bores me and I can get to work, so I didn't check it for long. Blogging I will allow because it keeps me honest about waking up and it is almost like I'm writing creativity guru Julia Cameron's "morning pages." I will put a time limit on it.

Yesterday was dee-vine. Knowing I had written that morning made all the difference in my outlook on life. I felt good about myself and it glowed to everyone around me. I was more present for my daughter and partner.  Oh, another thing that energized me was send a friend a note via facebook, nothing too long, just a quick sentence saying how she was an inspiration to me. This has to have helped my energy! I'm going to do this more often!

Morning Times

I turn 32 on Groundhog Day and my life is almost complete. I have the partner of my dreams, a 2-year-old daughter, a house, the perfect dog, my own business. The only thing missing is writing. It’s always been there, floating around in my mind. There are scraps, attempts at novels, stories, poems, but I have nothing to show for the continent size flotsam of ideas knocking against the shores of my mind.

My days are spent caring for our little girl, tending to household chores and working. By the time the evening rolls around and Buggy is in bed I read and then fall asleep. Why the heck can’t I wake up in the morning?

It’s not so much that I don’t wake up; it is that I don’t GET UP. Take this am: I woke up and looked at the clock and it was 5am, a reasonable time for someone to get up and write for a few hours, but I was so cozy and warm in bed that I just cuddled back into the covers and went back to sleep!

A few ideas I’ve gathered from internet, magazines, friends:

• Coffee beans in bedside table. Sniff upon waking.

• Nap during the day (tried, ruins ability to fall asleep at night)

• Go to sleep early  (I do this already)

• Reward myself with chocolate when I do wake up

• Get Jon to pour water on me

• Daylight simulator alarm clock

• Two alarm clocks, loud one across room a minute after the first quiet one

• Use an app that wakes me up at optimum point in sleep cycle

• Make bed less comfy

• Have everything ready to go for the morning

This morning I did the two alarms. I think this will be helpful because I will want to shut the loud one before I wake the baby. It also helped that I told Jon my desire. I didn't want to be a failure in his eyes, lol.

Okay, off to drink tea and write:)